Addictions
by Dark-English-Rose
Summary: Joey has some problems with addictions. Rated for drug theme, swearing, and potential adult situations, first chapter is a songfic, eventual JK


Hello there my dear friends, here is my first venture into Yu-Gi-Oh fanfiction!

I wanted a pairing for this very pretty song, and this is what I got.

A birthday present for my Nammy.

Thanks to Thrally for being there to voice my ideas.

WARNINGS: This fic will contain shonen-ai (Kaiba/Joey), and probably a fair amount of lime, it also deals with drug abuse (It's a theme) and (very briefly) prostitution.

If any of this offends, please don't read.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own them, unfortunately, that privilege goes to the wonderful Kazuki Takahashi -bows to him-

The lyrics to 'Not an addict' belong to K's Choice – a wonderful band.

And yes, I know I can skip between using the original names and the cartoon names, deal, you know who they all are.

As for when this is… TWT. But they are around 17/18

I'm not really going to touch upon many events from the series/books, because I'm only up to volume 7 of the manga and my viewed anime is sketchy at best

Anyway, enjoy…

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Addictions

**Chapter One - Not An Addict.**

_Breathe it in and breathe it out_

_And pass it on it's almost out_

_We're so creative, so much more_

_We're high above but on the floor_

He didn't know how it had started, not really, all he knew was that he'd been leaving school one day, as usual, and on his way home he'd ran into some of his old friends, as usual, and they'd offered him a smoke, as usual.

Only, this time, this time something made him stop, made him nod, made him follow them and accept their offer.

He'd always been told that drugs were bad, and he'd seen it too. He'd seen friends under the influence, that scared him as much as anything – he'd heard many a drug-induced confession, and he didn't want to spill all his secrets – not when that might mean telling the world he wasn't exactly straight. Damn Kaiba.

He'd seen them when they'd gone too far as well, seen what it could do to a person.

But for some reason, this day, this day it just didn't matter any more, this day he just wanted to be something else.

Despite his boasting, he knew he wasn't exactly the hottest thing when it came to Duel Monsters, he didn't have any fancy millennium items, he wasn't even content to be strong for the gang like Honda, or a cheerleader type like Anzu – he was just plain old Joey.

Well not any more.

_It's not a habit, it's cool_

_I feel alive_

_If you don't have it you're on the other side_

He didn't need to do it of course; he could stop if he wanted to.

The point was, he _didn't_, he didn't want to be ordinary Joey again, didn't want to go back to that all the time, so he smoked just a little bit more.

The others wouldn't have understood, so he kept it from them, kept another little secret like he was so good at – and they didn't suspect a thing.

But then, he lost a few more duels, Kaiba seemed to manage to become more infuriatingly attractive, and just plain more infuriating, all at the same time.

Things got that little bit harder, and the smoking just wasn't cutting it any more.

_The deeper you stick it in your veins_

_The deeper the thoughts, there's no more pain_

_I'm in heaven_

_I'm a god_

_I'm everywhere_

_I feel so hot_

He was suddenly back in the gang without even noticing, he didn't really care as long as he got what he wanted – not what he needed though, he didn't _need_ it, not at all.

He could even lie to himself.

He got his bigger kick though, his bigger escape, and boy did that work wonders.

He felt like he was flying, every time, like he could do anything. He was always careful though, he was never drugged up around his friends, or Kaiba – god forbid he did something around the object of his desire.

It was hard though, he wanted it all the time, he sat in school day after day, just waiting for the bell to ring so he could rush off for another hit, he barely hung out with any of them outside school now, he made some pathetic excuse about a job – though every time they asked more he'd change the subject.

_It's not a habit, it's cool_

_I feel alive_

_If you don't have it you're on the other side_

_I'm not an addict_

_Baby,_

_That's a lie_

He suddenly found that maybe he wasn't as good at keeping secrets as he thought, he knew his friends were giving him strange looks, new they were wondering what was up with him.

None of them came close to the truth though, none of them realized. No one…except _him_…

"Joey?" the surprisingly gentle voice floated down the street to where the blonde boy was rushing away from the school.

He turned around, blinked, staring at what must have been a hallucination. Seto Kaiba, half-running after him, pausing awkwardly when he caught up.

"Yea?" He asked, trying to keep his tone steady, fingers beating a staccato rhythm on his thigh, half wanting Seto to be there, half wishing he'd let him go.

"You're on drugs, aren't you?" The brash question slid out and seemed to hover, accusingly, in the air above the two awkward young men.

Joey didn't have the energy or the patience to deny it.

"So what?" He snapped harshly, regretting it almost instantly, but not showing it.

"It's not good for you Joey, you need to stop." Seto insisted, not entirely sure why he was trying to help the idiot – he only knew that his friends were blind to what was happening, _somebody _had to try and help him.

"I can stop if I want." Was the brusque reply, and Joey turned, striding off before Kaiba could object – the young millionaire could only watch, helpless, as Joey headed off to ruin his life some more.

_It's over now_

_I'm cold, alone_

_I'm just a person on my own_

_Nothing means a thing to me_

_Oh, nothing means a thing to me_

Of course, it couldn't last forever, and soon Joey ran out of cash,

Suddenly, it was gone again, 6 months he'd been someone else, someone cool, euphoric, brilliant.

And now, suddenly, he was just Joey again – but worse, because now he barely knew anything that was going on around him, and he couldn't find it in himself to care, to catch up with what he'd missed while he'd been too busy thinking about his next high.

"Jou? You ok?" Yuugi asked politely. Yuugi did everything politely, sweetly. Adorable little Yuugi who was nice to everyone and never lost a game. At that moment, Joey hated Yuugi with a burning passion.

"Fine." He snapped irritably, wondering why they had to bother talking to him, he didn't care what they were talking about, didn't care about them right now.

They all stared at him, and he turned away, not wanting to feel their scrutiny. They hadn't even noticed, what did he care about them?

"Jou…" Honda began carefully, as if walking on eggshells. Irrationally, that irritated him even more. He shoved his chair back so hard it fell over, and left the room, his gaze stormy.

He had to get some more money…

_It's not a habit it's cool_

_I feel alive_

_If you don't have it you're on the other side_

_I'm not an addict_

_Baby_

_That's a lie_

His old man hadn't had much, but it had been enough to keep Joey going for a little bit longer.

He was so relieved to get it back that he didn't even care he was going into school high.

His friends, however, certainly did notice when he came back in the next day, all smiles as if nothing had happened – though they still didn't twig what was going on, Anzu even remarked that it was nice to see him back to his old self – if only she knew…

All throughout the day, Joey could feel Kaiba's gaze on him, he knew the other boy had worked it out, knew that Seto was aware exactly why he was in such a good mood today, and he anticipated another confrontation.

He wasn't disappointed.

As he was leaving, he was again stopped by Seto calling his name.

He turned back to stare calmly at the brunette, not saying anything.

"You stopped didn't you?" Seto asked first, "That was why you were so irritable.. but… you started again."

"Yea." Joey replied, giving away nothing more than that single, expressionless word.

"You need help, Jou…" Joey almost crumbled at Seto's use of the nickname, almost…

"No. I don't." He insisted, turning and beginning to walk away again.

_Free me_

He was tired of this, tired of hiding it, tired of denying it, he didn't want to do this anymore…

_Leave me_

And yet, at the same time, he didn't want to be _helped_, didn't want pitying – poor, stupid Joey, can't do anything right…

_Watch me as I'm going down_

He almost wanted them to notice, so they could see what their brilliance was causing him to turn to. Especially Kaiba, he wanted the brunette to know how much he wanted him, how much he needed him – what he was _doing_ to him.

_And free me_

He wanted out, and he couldn't do it on his own, but nobody was there, nobody was holding out their arm to pull him back from the hopeless chasm he was hovering over.

_See me_

Couldn't they see? Couldn't they tell? Couldn't they work it out the way Kaiba had?

Couldn't _he_ see Joey needed his help?

_Look at me I'm falling and I'm falling_

But no, they couldn't, they could just watch, unknowing, as he slid deeper into this..

He didn't need them, didn't want them, he could do this on his own.

Not that there was anything to do, he didn't have a problem.

_It is not a habit it is cool_

_I feel alive_

_I feel_

_It is not a habit it is cool_

_I feel alive_

It made him a better person, it made him _something_, it made him important.

He didn't need it, but he wanted it, there wasn't any problem here because he wasn't addicted.

There, simple as that, there wasn't anything wrong, nothing wrong at all…

_It's not a habit it's cool, _

_I feel alive_

_If you don't have it you're on the other side_

_I'm not an addict _

_Baby_

_That's a lie_

Because he wasn't an addict, anything he did to get the money wasn't bad, surely.

The more times he said it, the more convinced he became.

He wasn't addicted, there wasn't any problem here, it was just…fun, just cool, something to make him that little bit more special, that was all.

So this wasn't cheap at all, there was nothing wrong with what he was doing.

_I'm not an addict_

He repeated it to himself, an internal mantra, even as he was knelt in a back alley, earning the cash he needed so desperately.

There was nothing wrong with this, it wasn't depraved or stupid, it was just… fun, it was all part of the fun…

_I'm not an addict_

Back at his apartment, he refused to think about what had just happened as he tied a makeshift shoelace tourniquet to his arm with shaking fingers, grasping the syringe desperately.

He didn't need to do this, he repeated mentally to himself, he just wanted to…

_I'm not an addict…_

Kaiba thanked whatever gods may be listening that he'd decided to go round to Joey's that night as he sat in the ambulance, staring at the pale form of his unconscious friend.

Joey's father had been in a drunken stupor in front of the telly when Seto had arrived, the door had been half open – in his rush Joey had forgotten to close it.

As soon as he'd stepped into the apartment, his senses had screamed that something was wrong, and he'd run to Joey's room, to be met with a terrifying sight.

Joey had been there, passed out on his bed, the syringe still in his arm, for a brief moment Kaiba had feared he was dead – but he'd detected the tiniest rise and fall of the chest as he got nearer.

He might have been alive, but Seto could see it was only just, he had to act fast.

He'd called an ambulance, removing the syringe and the tourniquet while he waited, anxiously, checking that the blonde was still breathing every few seconds.

When the paramedics had arrived, things had passed in a disorientating blur, and somehow he'd ended up in the ambulance, feeling vaguely numb as he stared at Joey, who was now hooked up to a ventilator.

Why hadn't he done something sooner? Why hadn't he tried to _make _him stop?

"Don't you dare die Jou…" He murmured to the comatose figure, already having decided that if the worst should happen, it would be his fault…

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Here ends the first chapter of Addictions. 

The following chapters will not be songfics, I just felt the need to give this a nicer ending (and to actually give it one, since that trails off a little)

Fear not, avid readers, the second chapter is well underway.

And remember folks, if you care, comment!


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